


The Beat of Your Heart is the Drum I Follow

by alexofmacedonia



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4659768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexofmacedonia/pseuds/alexofmacedonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A journey of how Laura's heartbeat became increasingly (and decreasingly) important to Carmilla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beat of Your Heart is the Drum I Follow

**Author's Note:**

> so i saw this post by clones-and-thrones on tumblr (http://clones-and-thrones.tumblr.com/post/121720045589/thank-you-anon-for-giving-me-the-idea-that-carm) and couldn’t get that and the few other times heartbeats have been mentioned or implied via the show or the transmedia out of my mind, and this little minific was born.

In the beginning, Carmilla tuned out her obnoxious roommate's heartbeat. Ignored the way it sped up whenever the jolly ginger giant walked in, and how it raced when she got more information about the missing girls.

It was her _modus operandi_ when she was working as a lure. If she flat out ignored what made these girls full of life, human, then she could keep a clear conscience for the ones she couldn't drive back to the safety of their hometowns and parents. She never let herself wonder what became of the ones that Will snatched, not after... not after what happened with Ell.

And so it worked for a few months every twenty years, from the fifties until the present.

Until the present.

The first time she caught herself subconsciously listening, the cupcake had been having a nightmare. She knew why, she always knows why, and normally she'd act aloof and convince the mark that it was just a nightmare, but this was different. After the incident a couple weeks before when she'd angrily told Carmilla that 'hell, even you deserve better', she found herself wanting to make sure she saved this girl. Sure, she played with her a little bit anyway, but the cupcake was annoying and deserved it.

When she asked Carmilla to the frat's insipid party, she found herself listening to the slightly raised pulse rate, and wondering what that could mean. Her roommate's body language screamed nerves, and Carmilla couldn't quell the hope that she was genuinely interested in burying the hatchet (and maybe more). When Carmilla walked into their room a few nights later, dressed to kill (not quite so literal this time as usual) and carrying an expensive bottle of champagne she'd liberated from Maman's personal stock, she heard the same nervous-sounding heartbeat, and moved in for the kill. (Again, not as literal as usual.)

She hadn't expected the dimwit squad to barge in a few minutes later, and they were lucky to have Will on their side or they all would have broken bones. Carmilla was determined to no longer care about her idiot roommate, and definitely didn't care if she or any of her friends got themselves killed by trying to go up against the Dean and her secret army of vampires.

She definitely didn't start caring again after the cupcake listened to her tragic past (obscenely inappropriate puppet show aside), or after she allowed Carmilla to watch Netflix with blood in a sippy cup.

When Will threatened to eat the cupcake though, her ears subconsciously decided to listen to the human's hammering heart, and her protective instincts took over. She ignored the weird stutter of the cupcake's heart as she pushed her onto the bed to take a sip of her blood before chasing after Will. And ignored the fact that, even though they yelled at each other when she got back, Laura's heart rate calmed down once she agreed to stay, and she could hear it remain steady as Laura got her first real night's sleep in weeks.

(She still didn't care though.)

Over the course of the next week or so, Carmilla definitely wasn't paying attention to the way Laura's heart stopped beating irregularly around Clifford and started doing that only around Carmilla. Or how instead of a heartbeat, she now heard the pumps as ' _a-live, a-live, a-live_ '.

Okay, maybe she cared if Laura stayed alive, but not because she was falling for her.

Then they danced though, and Carmilla could hear Laura's heart racing, and heard her groan, "Worst crush ever," and maybe she really did care about keeping Laura alive because she was seriously falling for her.

The special meaning of hearing Laura's heart pumping blood through her arteries was tainted when it wasn't Laura standing before her, but she could still hear it. It was a reminder that this girl, her mark, was a human. A fragile human whose life Maman could snuff out like a candle.

Carmilla tried blocking the sound out again after she made her deal with the devil, but it seemed determined to beat as loudly as possible, as a reminder of what she'd done. How very _Telltale Heart_ of her conscience.

After making sure that blasted human heart would continue working by plunging a sword into the hungry light of Lophiiformes, the first sound she was aware of upon regaining consciousness was a slightly fast _thump-thump_. She smiled, knowing that specific thump anywhere, and opened her eyes to see one grateful creampuff.

They finally kissed, and Carmilla finally allowed herself to fully admit that Laura's heartbeat was her favorite sound in the world. It meant life, it meant love.

A month later, it meant the promise of a fun night of 'stargazing'.

Three months later, as she heard it through the floorboards above her, it meant that even though she had broken it, it still worked. Laura was alive, and that's what mattered the most.


End file.
